Courage to Face the Desire a Revolutionary Girl Utena <../> fanfiction by Tamagochan When two lovers are destined for each other, rules or obstacles only exists as how the lovers perceive them. Utena slows her usually brisk pace to let the dainty Anthy keep pace with her long strides. They are both keeping good pace that morning as they walk along a private path that runs from their dormitory to their school. Utena steals surreptitious glances at Anthy. She observes the soft lavender hue of Anthy's hair as the suns morning ray bounces merrily off the rich copious hair while wondering what sort of girl Anthy is, to be a willingly participate in the seemingly decadence world of the Student Council. Utena notes the curve of Anthys downcast eyelashes. "What lies underneath those demure eyesE Utena asked herself, "to make her agreeable to give herself as a Bride to strangers?" She reflected back on the events that had unfolded the past few weeks. The fated day she rescued Anthy from the diabolical mistreatments of Saonji-sempai, when Anthy and Chu-chu moved in to her room, her introduction to the members of the Student Council and World's End and the strange rules they abide to, particularly the rule where the winner of the duels is allowed to do what he or she may to the "Rose Bride". She got jolted out of her thoughts as she accidentally stumbled on an errant pebble. "Tenjou Utena-sama?" Anthy inquired in her soft voice as she bends ever so gracefully to touch Utena's sleeves. Utena blushed profusedly and batted away Anthys hand as she recovered from her fall. "Look Anthy, you have to stop with this whole Tenjou-sama thing, okay? Call me Utena. You won't like it if I called you Himemiya Anthy-sama now, would you?" Utena continues as she sees Anthy about to interject, "And no, do not start on me about how you are my bride. It is just not right. We are good friends and best of pals but it should not be anything more." Anthy looks forlorn as she bowed her head in apology that Utena felt tempted to take back her words. But straightening with resolve, Utena grabbed hold of Anthy's shoulders and said, "Anthy, we are both girls. You can not possible be my bride. By right, we should be dating boys, concentrating on exams and homework, participate in healthy normal student activities. Not playing some Bride and Groom games devised by some perverts in the Student Council or World's End. Nor should we be risking our lives in some silly duel. This struggle for power is absolutely silly, don't you think?" Utena looked directly into Anthy's simmering green eyes and suddenly lost her train of thought. One could easy drown in those eyes was the thought that runs through Utena's mind. Shaking her head slightly to clear her mind, Utena pointed her gaze everywhere but Anthy's face and continued, "I know what! I know Miki is interested in you. He is cute and smart too. I can set you two up on a date. That way you can date someone and get help with homework at the same time too!" Utena laughs nervously at Anthy's serious expression. "Won't you like that? Two birds with one stone! We can start leading normal lives and get good grades. Then maybe the Student Council will leave us alone, dont you think? Maybe I can date Touga or your brother," Utena gushes out enthusiastically. Anthy looks at Utena's earnest face and reach out to tuck a wayward pink lock behind Utena's ear. Anthy slowly nods. "Yes Tenjou-sama..." Utena quickly interrupts, "Call me Utena!" "Yes Tenjou-sa.. Utena, I will like that very much." Anthy continues. Taking Anthy's little upturned smile as a further sign of agreement, Utena breathes a sigh of relief and continues to layout her matchmaking plan. So intent and happy was Utena in Anthy's accord, she did not notice the brief flash of pained look on Anthy's face. Utena burst into their private dorm room that night, spots Anthy drinking tea at their sitting room table and promptly plops herself down next to Anthy. "Guess who is having a romantic date tomorrow night?" Utena asked Anthy excitedly. Anthy carefully puts her cup down on the saucer and deliberates over her tea with her delicate ornate teaspoon as she quietly listens to Utena's grand plan for her date with Miki. Utena quickly jots down an itinerary: 6.00pm Mikie to pick Anthy up from the dorm with flowers and chocolates 7.20pm Dinner reservation at Le Bistro du Romance in downtown 8.45pm Movie 10.15pm Late coffee at Sundough cafE 11.00pm Come Home "Does this not sound like a grand plan, Anthy?" Utena asks as she proudly holds up the sheet of paper to review her handiwork. Anthy stops stirring her tea and gave Utena a tiny smile and nods. "Yes Tenjou-sama" Anthy starts to say. "Utena", Utena reminds Anthy. Anthy paused, "Yes, Tenjou-sa.. Utena, it sounds like a wonderful idea." Utena gives a vigorous nod and moves to stick the itinerary on their bunk bed. She pushes the thumbtack through the sheet of paper with a resolved stab. That night, Anthy lays awake, staring blankly at the roof of her bed where Utena is snoring softly. Next morning, Utena wakes up to the bustle of Anthy doing her daily morning chores. She peeks at Anthy from her top loft. She follows the elegant curve of Anthy's exposed nape to the ponytail that tries to curtail Anthy's abundant mauve hair to the curve of Anthy's ridiculously long eyelashes. Utena's eyes start to wander the rest of Anthy's body. Miki is going to be one lucky guy, Utena thought. Utena stretches and jumps down the bed. On an impulse, she gave the surprised Anthy a peck on the cheeks. Before Anthy has a chance to react, Utena taps on the itinerary and makes her way out to the bathroom. "Dont forget the big date tonight", Utena says as she closes the door behind her. The whole day Utena is unable to concentrate on any of her activities. The teachers keep catching her with a vacant expression on her face. Gosh, Utena thinks to herself, I must really be excited about this date for Anthy and Miki since I cannot get it out of my mind. Utena and Anthy's Friday class and activities schedule do not coincide, so they could not see each other the whole day. As the day passes by, Utena grew more and more depressed. She reasoned it to being unable to share her excitement with Anthy. But when her last sports meet ended and Utena practically dragged her feet home, she can not explain the cause of her funk. So depressed she felt, that by the time, she unlocked the door to their shared room, it was already 6.15pm. Anthy looked at the opened door, half expecting Miki to be eagerly early. Soothing out her frown when it turns out to be Utena, she started when she saw Utena standing by the door looking despondently at her. Anthy rushes up to Utena "Tenjou-sa.." Anthy stopped at Utenas flash look of annoyance "Utena, are you okay? Are you not feeling well? Should I cancel todays date?" Anthy asked. Utena shakes her head and reaches out for Anthy's shoulders to gently push her to arm's length. Utena caught a whiff of a rose scent. "You look pretty tonight, Anthy." Utena says without much enthusiasm. Anthy twirls around in her black one-piece that sports a low plunging v-neck covered by buttons. Anthy puts a hand on a choker surrounding her dainty neck and strikes a pose for Utena. "You approve Tenjou-sa.. Utena?" Out of sense of duty, Utena takes a closer look at her friend. Utena let her eyes travel from the tip of Anthys tumble of luscious hair to the bottom of her cute high heels, and then lingered at Anthys low neckline and the tight fit of the dress. Unable to say anything constructive, Utena opts to flop herself face-down onto Anthy's bed. "You do not like it?" Anthy asked anxiously. Utena mumbled something into Anthy's pillow. Anthy sits next to Utena. Her hand moved to touch Utena's head but drops the hand before it touches Utena. "I am sorry, forgive me Tenjou-sa.. Utena, if my outfit displeases you, I can change or I should give Miki a call to cancel the date now." As Anthy reaches for the phone, Utena turns around and grab Anthy's hands and rapidly says, "You look gorgeous but I am wondering if the dress is TOO much for a first date." Before any of them could react to Utenas blushing face as she tries not to stare at Anthy's barely concealed bosom, the door bell rang. Utena rushed to open it, glad to escape the unfathomable look Anthy is giving her. She grabs Miki's hand and pulled him in. In one swift motion, she rips the itinerary from its display spot, shoves it into Miki's hand, turns around to grab Anthy with her other hand and push both of them out the door. Utena quickly slams the door onto the gaping faces of Miki and Anthy. 12.55am flashed back at Utena's face as she stares at the clock in her hand. She paces up and down the room already in her pajamas. "The itinerary clearly indicated that she should be back by 11.00pm. Where was she?" Utena fumed as she continues to pace the room. At 1.30am, she hears some noises outside the door and presses her ear against it. She hears Anthy's muffled laughter and Miki saying something unintelligible. Utena backs away from the door, sprints across the room and jumps up into her bed when she heard the door unlock. Anthy turns to say goodbye to Miki and slowly closes the door and walks across the room. Noting that Utena had left her night light on, Anthy move to switch the light off. On her way, she reaches to brush aside a lock of hair from Utena's face. Anthy lets out of gasp of shock when Utena suddenly grabbed her hand. "Tenjou-sama, you are awake." Anthy states the obvious in her surprise. "Do you know what time it is?" Utena hisses as she catches yet another enticing whiff of roses. Anthy meekly lowers her eyes and replied, "I wanted to stick to the schedule but Miki insisted on playing the piano with me and taking me out to the Lover's Lookout". Utena tighten her grip on Anthy's arm involuntarily. "And you just let him do that?" Utena says with clenched teeth. All the feelings Utena had accumulated surfaces to a boil. "Do you know how sick with worry I was?! I was feeling anxious, scared, angry, and guilty. You name it, I felt it! Not to mention, the frustration of not being able to get a hold of you two at any of the places I suggested. What if Miki had done something to you?! You could have at least called me to say you were coming home late!!" Utena jumped down her bed to better face Anthy while maintaining her death grip of Anthy's arm. "And how could you let Miki take you to Lover's Lookout?! You know how the hill got its name right? Only loose women would go there with guys on their first dates!" Utena huffs. Anthy lowers her head and whispers, "He insisted we go there to see the view. He refused to let me say no.." "Geez, Anthy!! You should have showed some spine LIKE you always should, and say NO to Miki!!! How difficult is it to express yourself? And how could you let him take you to Loverss Lookout?!!" Utena rages on "Why are YOU always doing this??!! WHY ARE YOU ALWAYS SO WEAK?!!!!" Why can you NOT express your true feelings!!? WHY DO YOU HAVE TO BE SUCH A COWARD?!" Utena pins Anthy to the bed frame unconsciously as she continues to shout. Anthy frowns, "Do you think me weak Tenjou-sama? That I am not capable of making a decision or act on my own?" Anthys shoulders starts to heave at the strain of her breath, matching Utenas, breathe by breathe. The air was thick with tension as their pent-up emotions threaten to burst. "Do you not think it takes courage and strength to waking up every day to a responsibility one loathes with all her heart?" Anthy shakes of Utena's grip and takes a step towards to Utena. Utena takes an involuntary step back. "Do you not think it takes strength to maintain a faade and hide one's true self from the world to prevent ones loved ones from getting hurt?" "Do you think it is easy to go do something detestable to please the person one loves?" "Do you think it is easy to keep ones feelings bottled up inside ALL the time?! OR to express one's true feelings?" Anthy punctuated each question with a firm step towards Utena, until Utena had no more space to back away any further. "You certainly SEEM to have no problems expressing yourself Tenjou-sama. BUT, you and I both know WHO the true coward is. We both know WHO it is who truly cannot express her feelings." Anthy pauses and leans her body forward, pressing Utena's further onto the wall. "Do you not think that making the first move takes the most courage?" Anthy tilts her face close. Utena's eyes clouds with bewilderment as she gets caught in Anthy's steady emerald gaze. She notes ever so briefly in her convoluted mind on how she failed to notice before how strong and stanch those brilliant eyes are. "I .. I.. dont know what to say... or think..." Utena stammered weakly. Anthy leaned closer until their faces are only a breath apart. "Now is not the moment to think but act." With that, Anthy resolutely pulls Utena's face down and plants a kiss on Utena's lips. At first, the kiss was light and unsure. Then slowly, both sets of lips begin to soften and seek to make the kiss more intimate. The light furtive kisses gave way to deeper more passionate kisses. The first cautious meet of the tongues cause both to shiver. Ever so slowly, Anthy deliberately unbuttons Utena's pajama top one by one. Once done, Anthy lays a sure hand on Utena's breast. A tiny whimper escaped from Utena as words failed her for the first time. Anthy laughs softly against Utena's lips as she slowly explores the delicate curves of Utena's body with her inquisitive hands. Anthy continues her exploration of Utenas taut athletic body. "How I have longed to touch you, Tenjou-sama," Anthy whispers hotly, "To feel your every curve, to savor how your body react as I run my fingers all over it, feel your warmth and take in your smell." Anthy leans to touch her nose to the corner of Utena's neck. "You smell like the sun. Healthy and strong with your confidence in life. But, it takes courage to make the first move towards what we both want, don't you agree?" Anthy whispers into Utena's blushing ear. Utena slides down into Anthys arms, her legs unable to support herself or unable to acknowledge the truth of the last question. Anthy leans Utena to the wall as she pushes the Utena's top completely out the way. She starts tracing Utena's outline with her lips, interspersing the kisses with tiny licks and bites. Utena offers her neck, shoulders, arms, legs, fingers, toes, her life and soul to make sure Anthy does not stop what she is doing as Utena succumbs to the web of seduction Anthy is casting over her. Anthy looks into Utena's eyes briefly before continuing her path to Utena's pert pink nipples. Slowly without breaking eye contact, Anthy takes the nipples one by one into her mouth. Utena closes her eyes unable to bear the strength of Anthy's ardent stare. Chuckling, Anthy continues to nibble, lick, kiss, caress and squeeze in cadence with Utena's almost inaudible moans. Utena is barely aware as the last vestige of her clothing is removed and Anthy's warm full-clothed body covers her naked one. Anthy's hands moves sometimes roughly and sometimes gently all over her body as Anthy takes turns between whispering sweet seductive words into her burning hot ears and paying lavish attention to her body. Utena has never felt experienced anything so intense. Her body felt like it was on fire. It was like every pleasure nerve she had or never knew she had is being switched on one by one by Anthy's administrations. Utena reaches out for Anthy, unsure if the moans are coming from her or Anthy. Utena holds Anthy tight to in effort of holding to something more stable as she is hit by an intense wave of need and desire for something she can not identify yet. She shudders at each whispered word from Anthy, claws and moans with increasingly intense lick, kiss or bite. Yet, nothing prepared her for how she felt when Anthy laid the first tentative touch at the core of her desire. She buried her burning face into Anthy's neck, wanting more, however, embarrassed by everything. May I? whispers Anthy. Utena can do no more but nod in Anthy's warm crook. She feels Anthy's gentle touch surely and lovingly lay possession of her wet warmth. Utena no longer cared how loud her moans are. She had to let it out, otherwise she would explode. Utena almost died from the pleasure pain when Anthy gently slipped a finger in her. She felt the tension in Anthy's shoulder and neck as Anthy held her breath and hands very still for that moment, waiting. "Please.." was all Utena could whisper as she hugs Anthy closer to her body, wanting to absorb Anthy into her person. Utena felt the sudden untauting of Anthy's body like a arrow sprung a bow. She felt Anthy expel her breath as Anthy's finger begins to move slowly and rhythmically within her. The finger continued to stoke and quench, quench and stoke the very nucleus of her desire. Soon, Utena feels herself lost in the sensation. Spurred on the Anthy's murmurs and whispers of encouragement, Utena reached for that thing her body is screaming for. Then, suddenly, just as Anthy's body went rigid before with fear of hurting her lover, Utena's froze at the height of her desire. Time, space and her physical being ceased to exist as she reached the crescendo of her orgasm. Spent, her body went completely slack, dropping sideways. Anthy tries to catch Utena. But tired by her own exertions, and forced by the inertia of the sudden fall, Anthy failed to prevent both of them from tumbling to the floor. Anthy lays very still, feeling and enjoying the whole weight of Utena on top of her. She senses that at that moment, Utena could not move even if she tried. She smiles as she ran her arms soothingly along Utena's back and arms. After a moment, she feels Utena stirring and struggling to prop herself up on her arms. Anthy smiles up at Utena. Utena smiles weakly back at her. Anthy smile grows wider as Utena's face turns bright red at the memory of what just passed. When Utena starts to turn her head away in embarrassment, Anthy puts her hands on Utena's face and gives Utena a gentle kiss. Utena smiles and looks intently into Anthy's eyes. What Utena found there made her begin to pour sweet soft slow kisses all over Anthy's face. Utena clumsily moves to one side to try to unbutton Anthys dress when Anthy stopped her hand. "You do not have to do this", Anthy says. Utena kisses Anthy's hand away and replied "Oh, we must. Now that someone has proven her courage in making the first move, this humble novice begs to be allowed to demonstrate her feeble attempt at courage." Then, it was Anthy's turn to blush and moan as Utena proved her skill as a very apt and courageous demonstrator. Later on, their desires overly spent, as they lay in each other arms slowly and gently caressing and kissing each other, Anthy turned to Utena and asks cheekily, "Do you still want me to date Miki or any other boys?" Utena turned to look at Anthys face incredulously. "ABSOLUTELY NOT!" Utena punctuated her answer with a nip at Anthys shoulders. She rolls over so she can look down at the prostrate Anthy while her pink locks cascade down her shoulders and her face. With an upturned smile, Anthy meekly lowers her eyes and nods, "Yes, Utena, whatever you say." Anthy's smile disappeared as she observes that Utena does note rise to the bait but starts to have an intense look on her face. Anthy put a hand on Utena's cheek. "What is it, Utena?" Utena kisses the hand and said, "Nothing.. I am just happy that you chose to call me Utena instead of Tenjou-sama all on your own." Utena continues to trail her kisses up Anthy's bare hand. Anthy reaches to tuck an errant lock away from Utena's face. "However," Utena continues, "I shall now have to punish you for each time you pretend to be this meek cow that you are absolutely undeniably not!" Utena threatened. Anthy laughs throatily. "Oh.. hmm.. what kind of punishment are we talking about here?" Anthy asks smilingly, arching her eyebrow as she traces Utena's breasts with both hands. Utena grabs and pins Anthys distracting arms above her head with one hand. "I will show you what sort of punishment!" Utena reaches down with her other hand, feeling the spreading wetness of her lover's core. "You little tart!" Utena says laughingly as she kisses Anthy. "I will punish you every day for the rest of our lives, I will!" ------------------------------------------------------------------------ Back to Revolutionary Girl Utena Shoujo-Ai Fanfiction <../>